Travel = Trauma

You can fluff it up any way you choose.

Travel…is…motherfucking TRAUMATIC!!!

So say I.

^Alice Deejay – Better Off Alone^

I started this post back on May 5th. That’s as far as I got. Today is May 15th.

Can’t even remember what I was thinking. But I think it had something to do with rotation of the Earth/Terra, length of travel, type of travel…shit like that. I think there were some considerations given the cycles, life cycles, sleep cycles, motorcycles, bicycles, tricycles, ovulation cycles, and light-cycles.

Maybe not.


I’ve never done this before, so let’s do it now. I’m gonna write on this post every few days, or weeks, or whatever…and see where it goes. Should create a cycle within my brain to check on this piece of shit every once in a while.

^Muzzy – Play (ft. UK:ID)^

DATELINE: 2018.05.22 – A Tuesday – 09:37 CDT

Dear Diary,

I arrived home from Austin the other day.

I left for Austin the other day.

I am here today.

Not necessarily in that order.

The End

^Nine Inch Nails – God Break Down The Door^

Tis only been a couple of days, but RooBeeDoo of Library of Libraries fame is having a birthday in a couple of weeks(hours) and I need to do something special to surprise her.

Anyone have any ideas?


Hmmm. I must not have a readership or something.

So now, I’ve got not one problem, but two.

Let’s work on the thing that I can work on….Roob’s birthday gift…surprise…thingie … or whatever.


I KNOW!!! I’LL ASK GOOGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

— — —

Dear Google,

What does RooBeeDoo like?



— — —

Attention Cadebot-0,

No results found for “what does roobeedoo like”.

Transaction Complete,


— — —


Maybe she doesn’t like anything?

Now that…I can do.

^Jay Lumen – Solar (Original Mix)^

Monday 28 May 2018

It’s Memorial Day here in the United States of America. It’s quiet. It was quiet yesterday too, but very quiet today. Almost as if the giant sleeps.

Warm…sunny…pretty clouds…91°F/33°C…and quiet.

I should like to go out and visit some relatives today, but I’ve no way to do so, therefor I will not. Perhaps I should give my mother a call and see how she is doing. Nah…think I’ll just chill.

^Olivier Giacomotto – Bipolar Star (Original Mix) – Noir Music^

Welcome to Thursday June 7th of 2018.

It is 10:10 in the morning, and I just had an idea.

I wrote a post for my Blogger blog last night, but I just wasn’t really into it. Had a lot of things on my mind, but could not write for some reason. So…I rambled a bit and tried to make sense of what I was thinking about. This was difficult because I wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular, which is odd because I was thinking of something quite specific.

I’ve been writing to, and for, no one in particular for about three years now. If you stumble onto this blog, that’s what I do…write to no one in particular about nothing in particular, and I do this for no particular reason. But last night, I was thinking specifically about “nationalism”, and I was thinking about it as it pertains to Germany.

We in The West have got some crazy ideas about German nationalism, and this and these ideas tend to spring from the years of 1933-1945, and 1914-1918. Almost as if to say, Germany may as well have not existed until 1914, and then disappeared completely until 1933, then again disappeared in 1945. So where did it go? Not only that, but where did it come from?

Bounce forward in time to 1990/1991.

It was a strange time. If you roll the clocks back to 1985-1988, pretty much the whole world was in schism. (according the the news anyway)

“German Nationalism” post-World War II is a concept that I’ve long pondered. In 1985, “the war” had been over for 40 years, and yet, any and all references to Germany and Germans STILL fucking centered around World War II and Hitler and Nazis and blah blah blah. It’s OK to be American and proud, it’s OK to be French and proud, it’s OK to be Russian and proud, and it’s OK to be British and proud…but German?


^Miguel Bastida – Moudness (Original Mix)^

It always bothered me that a country was held in contempt for something someone else did. I mean, I was born in 1967. Can I pick up the mantle of WWII era America/Americans and say “HOORAY!!! I DEFEATED GERMANY!!!” No. So, why is it that some still must ride the wave of “I’m a Nazi, even tho I’m not, but yeah…I’m a Nazi because of my place of birth”.

I simply thought in terms of healing and forgiveness in my own life. Would I ever be able to overcome breaking mom’s favorite serving dish? Will I ever be able to overcome getting a “C” in conduct on my report card that one time?

A: No. Once a fuckup, always a fuckup.

Welp, in truth, these events happened and there is no changing them. I made a “C” on that one report card, and no amount of good grades will ever change that. I broke that one serving dish, and no amount of replacements will ever change that. So is the lesson to be learned “never …EVER… fuck up”?

Prolly an amendment to be made there…

“If you do fuck up, just don’t get caught.”

If you are a kid, or an adult in a new/unknown environment of any kind…

Q: How do you even know what a fuckup is?

A: ???

Listen to the experts. They’ve got “it”, and you, all figured out.

Now all YOU have to do, is figure out what that means.

^BOMBAY DUB ORCHESTRA – Monsoon malabar^

Yep…it’s still Thursday the 7th of June, and I’m still going.

A thought occurred to me the other day.

Q: What is the number one question that people are said to want to ask God?

A: Why are we here.

Welp, several years ago, it occurred to me that if you were to meet God face to face, the first question you are most likely to ask is going to be…

Q: Are you God?

A: ?¿?

Some floaty fuck shows up, every fiber of your being makes it quite obvious as to who they are, and yet, the first thing to creep into your mind is likely to be doubt. Doubt in yourself. Doubt in the experience. Doubt in your abilities to comprehend what is transpiring and why. Doubt in your ability to relate to what has happened to you, and you’ll likely start to ponder exactly who you would relate this experience to. Family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc.. I mean, you can’t just call up your parents and say “MOM!!! DAD!!! I MET GOD!!!” Can’t phone up the paper and issue a press release because you’ll wind up in the nuthouse. So yeah…doubt, doubts, and a fucking flood of it and them.

So the other day, it occurred to me, that if “God showed up”? My first question should prolly be…

Q: What are you doing here?

A: !!!

Yeah…like…”WOAH WOAH WOAH…WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE HERE!!! Nevermind what I’m doing here…what in the FUCK are you doing here?!?!?!????”

I mean, it’s not every day that “God” shows up and appears to want to have a chat and/or hang out a bit…right? So yeah…this is God we are talking about. The motherfucker prolly has an agenda, we need to know what that agenda is, and we need to know it pretty fucking quick. “Why am I here” or “why are we here” just ain’t going to get the job done. He/she/it might have a “to do” list of shit for me to do that is a mile long, and I’ve already got my own agenda. These agendas are likely to conflict in some small and subtle ways, so I need to know what this asshat is up to. Gotta be stealthy and sly about it…so…let’s blurt…



I don’t expect an answer. I mean, I’ve been praying for years with no direct answers, so why would I expect an answer now that God has decided to show up? I dunno why the fucker is here. But the fact that God has suddenly decided to drop by for some reason means that they must have something in mind and/or on their mind.

Prolly just wanted to see me fumble around. I would imagine it’s quite amusing to watch.

^Pitch the baby Cocteau Twins^

RooBeeDoo of Library of Libraries fame has just textually punched me in the head. Typically, if she does this, and I am writing at the time she does it, there is a connection of some sort. Don’t ask me to elaborate on “exactly what that means” because I don’t know. You could say it’s some “psychic connection” or whatever, and it may well be that, but that infers that we also have a “psychic non-connection” at times, and that’s a concept that NO ONE wants to discuss…right? I mean, no one is “psychic sometimes”…right? You are either psychic, or you aren’t. There are no “on/off” switches to just turn these abilities on or off. Much like Superman flying or punching stuff 24/7…he never lands. I digress.

I guess that at some point, Caligula and some Jewish leaders crossed paths, and they had a chat about the concept of deity. Caligula explained to the Jewish leaders that he was a god, the Jewish leaders appear to have explained to Caligula that there was only one god, and I guess further explained that Caligula was not he.

Caligula and the Jews

To be fair, Superman is always Superman. Cept when he’s Clark Kent. Or Kal-El.

And I don’t care what Quentin Tarantino thinks…Spiderman is always Spiderman. Cept when he’s Peter Parker.

So yeah, I would imagine that if there is a God, God is prolly always God. Cept when not.

EX: Jacob Wrestles With God (but doesn’t know it) – Genesis 32:22-32

So yeah, back on the “psychic” bullshit? You could prolly be talking to the spirit of your long dead granny, and she could tell you that she was actually the spirit of your neighbor’s dog, and you wouldn’t know the difference. That’s why I think keeping where you are in mind is likely a good idea. Yeah…Earth/Terra…that’s where you are, right? Third planet from Sol? Has a spherical orb called Luna circulating around it? Close neighbors named Venus and Mars? Flies around in The Milky Way Galaxy? Ever heard of it?

What about you…do you know you? I really don’t give a flying fuck if you are the living incarnation of some long gone god, or some reincarnated famous someone, or whatever it is that you make yourself out to be. In the here and now, you are you, and “else” has precisely fuckall to do with here. (cept when and where it does)

I kinda like you for who/what you are…not who/what you were.

^Deadmau5 – Phantoms Can’t Hang (1080p) || HD^

It’s just been my experience that to blindly follow someone is doing you both a disservice. There’s no relationship there.

Was Samson just some dude that beat the fuck out of an army with a jackass skull, then got a haircut from his gf? Is that all that God wanted him around for? Or is there likely some other shit that went on in his life, and the lives of those around him. Prolly took some time to get Samson where he needed to be.

Also prolly took some time to get Jonah where he needed to be.

So yeah…are you where you need to be?

Headed to where you needed to be heading?

Are you who you need to be?

Prolly an ongoing process.

That’s just a guess tho.


^DVBBS & VINAI – Raveology (Official Video)^

Travel can indeed be traumatic. It’s likely that Samson had doubts about how he’d get to where he was going, and Jonah likely had similar concerns. They both appear to have been beaten up a tad along the way. But that’s the fun part…right? All the crazy shit to experience as it is happening, eventually look back and reflect on how great it was, then go out and find something else nutty to do. Or not. Whatevz.

I was watching a bit on Uzbekistan last night and getting all creamy in my pants about  someday going there, but getting there is likely going to be a bitch. Gonna cost a lot of money, gonna take a long time to earn it, and I’m no spring chicken.

But I’ll make it there some day. No idea how, but yeah, I’ll make it.

See ya there.

Or you can come along.


^Siouxsie & the Banshees – Kiss Them for Me [480p)^

What I had an idea to do today, is to try out the “tags” on WordPress. I’m also kinda trying to clear my plate in order to do some writing, so I figured I’d go ahead and finish this post up, post it, then write a new post and add some tags to it. That should free my head up a bit to focus on more important things. I dunno, I guess we’ll see. /me shrugs

I’ve never utilized tags before, but I am trying to learn a bit about WordPress and how it works…so…tags are prolly the next logical step.

So barring any further interruptions, what say we jump ship on this here post, and go figure out something else.

^Blockhead – The Music Scene^

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^Crystal Castles – Untrust Us^